Look, as a United fan, it physically pains me to praise players who’ve made my weekends miserable. But credit where it’s due: Far East Asia has given the Premier League some absolute ballers. Some were United heroes. Others? Emotional terrorists.
Here are my top 5 – not based on PR fluff or shirt sales, but what they actually did on
the pitch. Even if it hurt.
1. Park Ji-Sung – The Human Battery Pack
Club: Manchester United
Defining Moment: Man-marking Pirlo into a philosophy degree
Let’s get this out the way: Park Ji-Sung is criminally underrated. Not flashy, not loud, but
everywhere. If Fergie told him to track a fly, Park would’ve shadowed it into retirement.
He scored against Arsenal, Milan, Chelsea, you name it, always in the big games. You want a
player who ran 12km then asked if extra time was an option? That’s Park.
Verdict: Football’s most loveable assassin. Covered more ground than British Airways.
2. Son Heung-min – The Smiling Nightmare
Club: Spurs
Defining Moment: Solo goal vs Burnley (and basically every time he plays us)
I hate how much I rate him. Quick, clinical, and makes Maguire look like he’s running through
porridge. Even in a Spurs team that collapses under pressure like a £2 camping chair, Son has
shined.
The 2020 demolition of United? Two goals, one assist, and a look on his face like he was just
out for a jog. Disgusting levels of composure.
Verdict: If he played for us, he’d already have a statue. Instead, I have PTSD.
3. Shinji Kagawa – The One That Got Away (Because Moyes)
Club: Manchester United
Defining Moment: Hat-trick vs Norwich (2013)
Kagawa was footballing sushi in a pub league. Beautiful to watch, intelligent, technically unreal.
Dortmund knew what to do with him. Fergie almost figured it out. Then Moyes showed up with
his “cross and hope” philosophy and turned Shinji into a ghost.
That Norwich hat-trick? Sublime. Right foot, left foot, dink – the man had sauce. Too bad we
drowned it in gravy
Verdict: Wrong time, wrong system, right talent. RIP to what could’ve been.
4. Maya Yoshida – Mr. Reliable (With Bonus Headers Against Us)
Club: Southampton
Defining Moment: That goal against United we pretend didn’t happen
Not the flashiest, but solid as a rock. Positioning, leadership, and just enough attacking threat to
occasionally haunt my dreams. He popped up with a few headers, including one against us that
I’ve erased from memory with tequila and denial.
He played nearly a decade for Saints and never embarrassed himself once. Which is more than
I can say for half our backline last season.
Verdict: Respect. Even if I still flinch when I see Southampton set pieces.
5. Lee Young-Pyo – Spurs’ First Proper Cult Hero
Club: Tottenham Hotspur
Defining Moment: Running down the wing like a man possessed in 2006
Before Son made Spurs marketable, Lee Young-Pyo made them watchable. A lightning-quick
full-back who could defend, dribble, and cross without ending up in Row Z? Revolutionary stuff
for Tottenham at the time.
I remember watching him tear up our flanks at Old Trafford in ’06 and thinking: “Hang on – why
do Spurs suddenly look like a team?”
Verdict: Didn’t get the headlines, but absolutely got respect.
Red Devil Ranter’s Final Whistle:
We talk a lot about “global reach” these days, but these lads didn’t come here to sell shirts – they
came to ball. Park was our hero, Son is our tormentor, Kagawa was a wasted Mona Lisa, and
the rest? Steady legends.
United could do worse than sign another one, ideally one that won’t be benched by a manager
who thinks pressing is an ironing technique.
