By The Red Devil Ranter
Remember 2012? When Luka Modrić was there, begging to be rescued from Levy’s North London hostage situation?
Well, in *this* universe, Sir Alex didn’t mumble about hip replacements – he got his cheque book out, told Darren Levy to sit down and shut up, and handed Modrić the keys to the kingdom.
We signed him.
£35 million. A bargain. No haggling. No dithering. No Ed Woodward spreadsheets.
And just like that – *everything* changed.
**The Modrić Multiverse: A Timeline of Glory**
**2012-13:**
Modrić walks in, Carrick hugs him like a long-lost twin, and our midfield becomes a Swiss watch.
United win the title by 15 points. Fergie doesn’t retire. Why would he? He’s having *fun*.
City? Still crying into their oil money.
**2013-17:**
We three-peat the Premier League. Modrić wins back-to-back PFA Player of the Year awards.
United vs Bayern becomes the *new* Clasico. We beat them in a Champions League final so good it’s added to the GCSE syllabus.
Giggs becomes assistant manager instead of briefly being a tragic interim boss. Moyes ends up coaching at Wigan, where he belongs.
**2018:**
Modrić lifts the Ballon d’Or in a United shirt.
Madrid fans boo him at the ceremony. Fergie nods approvingly from the front row, sipping whisky with his old pal Roy Keane, who now runs the midfield academy.
**Madrid: Virus Contained**
Without Modrić, Madrid don’t win La Décima.
They don’t win *anything*, actually.
Ronaldo leaves in 2014. Bale’s stuck crossing to Benzema’s ghost.
Ancelotti has a breakdown and starts coaching cricket.
Florentino Pérez tries to clone Guti. It fails. Spectacularly.
Moral of the Story
All it took was one smart decision.
One midfielder with magical feet and a brain like a footballing supercomputer.
But no — *in real life* we said: “Let’s buy Fellaini instead.”
I hope Real Madrid enjoy their trophies.
In this universe?
We’re sitting on *six* Champions Leagues.
Thanks to Luka bloody Modrić — *United legend*.
Forever and always.
**PS:** Darren Levy still exists in this universe. But nobody answers his calls.
