By The Red Devil Ranter – From a reality where vibes met actual structure, and Arsenal never stood a chance.
The year is 2021.
Ole Gunnar Solskjær, aka Vibes Man, has just guided Manchester United to 2nd place in the league. A proper finish. Pogba’s smiling, Bruno’s cooking, and we’ve just added Sancho and Varane like we’re a real football club again.
The vibes? Immaculate.
The memes? Glorious.
The hope? Dangerous.
But we all knew what was missing.
One final piece.
A midfield general. A destroyer. A conductor. A man who can win the ball and pass it forward without looking like he’s playing Twister.
It came down to two names:
- Declan Rice – Future captain, midfield beast, tactical discipline personified.
- Cristiano Ronaldo – Global brand, aging statue, 700 Instagram ab workouts.
And in our universe?
We signed the shirt sales.
But not in this timeline.
Here, we did the unthinkable.
We signed Declan Rice.
The Rice Era Begins
Suddenly, McFred is no more. Pogba doesn’t have to babysit midfield. Bruno isn’t pressing like a madman because Dec is back there, covering every blade of grass like he owns the pitch.
Rashford’s reborn.
Sancho’s thriving.
Ole’s got an actual functioning midfield.
And guess what?
We win the league in 2022.
City can’t break us down. Chelsea can’t outmuscle us. Liverpool… well, Salah still scores but we win 3-2 instead of getting walloped 5-0.
And Arsenal?
Declan never joins them.
Their midfield is a Bukayo Saka fever dream.
Arteta’s documentaries are cancelled after Season 2: “All or Nothing: Mostly Nothing.”
They sign Ruben Neves instead.
It’s not the same.
Meanwhile, Old Trafford’s bouncing.
We lift the league title.
We finally look like Manchester United again.
And Ole?
He’s still at the wheel – but this time the sat-nav works and the car isn’t on fire.
The Lesson from the Multiverse
Sometimes you choose glory.
Sometimes you choose nostalgia.
United chose Ronaldo.
But in this universe, we chose Declan Rice.
And the only tears were the ones streaming down Arsenal fans’ faces as they watched him lift the trophy…
in red.
Viva la Vibes. Viva la Rice.
And Arsenal? You lot never recovered.
