By The Red Devil Ranter
Look, I’ve watched this club go from Treble glory to tweeting through 15th place. So let’s take a break from current trauma and remind ourselves what actual greatness looks like. I’m talking 1998 to 2012. Fergie Era Prime Cuts. Football before YouTube compilations and TikTok apologies.
Here are the Top 5 Red Devils – based entirely on one defining moment each. Because legends don’t need seasons. They need seconds.
Ole Gunnar Solskjær – The Toe Poke Heard ‘Round the World (1999)
Moment Champions League Final vs Bayern, 93rd minute
The baby-faced assassin turned super-sub turned future tactical headache. But forget the managerial PTSD – back then, Ole didn’t start games, he finished them.
Corner comes in. Sheringham nods it. And Ole, with all the calm of a man ordering tea in Bergen, toe-pokes it into the roof of the net.
Screaming. Shirts off. Fergie doing jazz hands.
We won the Treble. Because Ole stuck a leg out.
Verdict No better example of being in the right place at the right time. And no, I’m not talking about his coaching badge.
Roy Keane – The Juventus Exorcism (1999)
Moment Champions League Semi-Final, Second Leg
Booked early. Knows he’ll miss the final. Most men would sulk. Keane? Keane decided to win the whole midfield by himself.
Headers, tackles, passes – man played like he’d been possessed by a Viking warlord. Dragged us from 2–0 down to 3–2 up, in Turin, against peak Juventus.
Final be damned. He got us there. That performance is tattooed on my soul.Verdict Should’ve been allowed to lift the trophy on principle. And maybe headbutt the UEFA guy who made that suspension rule.
Wayne Rooney – That Overhead Kick vs City (2011)
Moment Derby Day, Etihad Silence Machine
Was he off form? Yes.
Was his hairline still on sabbatical? Also yes.
But when Nani’s cross deflected high, Rooney summoned every last follicle of prime energy…
Boom. Overhead kick. Top corner. Aguero could never.
He called it “instinct.” I call it sorcery. The ball came off his shin and it still went viral.
Verdict The goal that made you forgive every moody contract strop, Nike headband, and “I want to play for City” saga. Almost.
Cristiano Ronaldo – The Free Kick That Bent Time (2008)
Moment Portsmouth. 30 Yards. David James still confused.
We all knew he was good. Then he did that.
The ball moves like it’s glitching in FIFA. James doesn’t dive. He freezes. Probably rethinking his life choices. The crowd doesn’t cheer, they scream.
That was the moment Ronaldo stopped being flashy and started being frightening.Verdict That goal had its own gravitational pull. Should’ve come with a health warning.
Paul Scholes – The Thunderbolt vs Barcelona (2008)
Moment Champions League Semi-Final, Old Trafford
Messi. Xavi. Iniesta. Tiki-taka merchants everywhere.
But it was our little ginger wizard who decided the tie.
Loose ball. 30 yards. Absolute cannon into the top bin. Victor Valdés still in orbit. And Scholes? Just jogged back like he’d ordered a pint and forgotten it.Verdict The quiet ones really do shoot the loudest.
Honourable Mentions (Because I’m Not a Monster)
- Rio Ferdinand – For looking cool while defending like a bouncer.
- Vidic – For clearing more danger than airport security.
- Van Nistelrooy – For eating tap-ins like cereal.
- Evra – For loving the club more than some of our current board members.
Red Devil Ranter’s Final Whistle
These lads weren’t just great – they defined what it meant to wear the shirt. We didn’t sign them for vibes. We signed them for moments.
Now, we chase YouTube highlight reels and give Bruno the armband for running around like a caffeinated penguin.
God, I miss these lot.
